18 Dec

People can be remarkably candid with complete strangers.  Case in point: this recent conversation with a woman in the checkout line.

“Dutch.  He said, since it’s a first date, he wanted to go dutch, and was I okay with that?

“I said yes, that sort of made sense, but something didn’t feel right.  He asks me to dinner, then says he doesn’t want to pay for it.  What’s that all about?  He can’t afford it?  I’m not worth a $20 investment?  If he couldn’t or didn’t want to spend the money, why suggest dinner at all?”

I watched her face as she mentally processed what she was saying.  She told me about other failed relationships, and how she wasn’t quite sure where things had gone wrong, but she was tired of it, and things had to change.

There were two themes that became more apparent as she talked.  She wanted a guy who would be honest with her and not put on any pretense, and she wanted someone willing to make an investment in a potential relationship.

“Is it wrong to want that?  Is that really too much to ask?”

She didn’t really want an answer, nor did she wait for one.  She paid her bill and left.  I’ll probably never see her again.

But something important happened in that conversation.

She clearly identified her glass.  She knew how large it had to be, what she wanted in it, and, just as important…

…what she didn’t want.



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